I wish I were a snowflake

I wish I were a snowflake
Then I would just float down
And land there outside my window
So peacefully lying there in a bed of whiteness
I wish I were that tree standing in the storm
Not having to carry the enormity of being human
Every time we give in to our desires
We fall into the space of separation and regret
Of our grandfather Adam
He cried for forty years
His tears
Tears of burning pain
Of a darkness that has to take its course
And emptiness that
The kings of this earth would give every
Mountain river, and field,
Every planet, star, every breath
To get away from

Our Teacher Omar,
Asked for his head to be on the ground when he died
His intestines spilling out,
He asked for no titles,
he recited major verses about regret
even though he was the last one to be regretful

So we turn to the Quran
Adam was forgiven
It is our destiny
To have to
Walk this path
But oh my Lord
Forgive us
Except us still
In the neighborhood of the good ones

Goodness is so sweet
And the evil of the self
Is so dirty
It gives nothing
It shows we haven’t grown up

The fake Sufi
Wears the clothes,
Remembers epitaphs,
Fakes it to the end
The true warrior declares war on himself
Starting at that inevitable showdown unswervingly
Its either you or me buddy.
Watching like a cat to a mouse hole
The Blessed Prophet said the best deed
Is to avoid the prohibited
The greatest jihad
Is the only jihad
We have to quit ourselves,
Like cigarettes,
Like alcohol,

Be a man,
Take responsibility
It’s the only way out
Of this self hell
We call
Our life
If you think we’re some hairless chimp
Then you have no idea what a human being is
Energy of a monkey is energy of a monkey
Energy of human is Divine
False logic will never save the day
False logic pushed the button
That fried a million people in seconds
Humans are an iceberg
Today’s world
Is making our souls die a million deaths every minute
All the while trying to solve the mystery of the totality of creation with a calculator.

Holy ones are those that have defeated their egos
Shaykh Nazim said the lowest point of faith
Is sitting on a desert island with a young women
And yet having no impure thoughts about her
And He is proof that that can be
Yes,
Let’s not spend our lives in half truths
Still a teenager at ninety
Oh Allah help us
Help us
Help us
Help us
Help us
Help Us
Forgive us
Guide us to Your Gaze
And the abode of safety
You only You can save us

You are ALLAH
We are nothing
Help us

doubt is the poison that cures in the end

The way to truth is fraught with a thousand falsehood turns,
If you are scared of anything but Allah
This path is not for you
We are caught here amongst the breathing, the looking, the feeling, the thinking
With only the hunch of something
Pulling us to Meaning
We are out here in the desert of our consciousness
Skirting the knife edge between faith and doubt
Hope and hopelessness
Realization and confusion
This is why i was told:
A human is a hero

Abu Bakr said

“Patience is half of faith, and confidence is all of it.”

Belief is connection
“..our way is association..”
When belief goes
The enormity of ten thousand problems and terrors
Weighs on the heart:
I feel bad…
I feel panicky…
What do I do…?
Where is there to go…?

Before one tastes the sweetness of being a believer
One has to sweat in disconnected hollowness
To stare it in the face
To drink the drought of disbelief
And expel it from your system forever

But in his presence
It feels the week I just lived was no more that a minute
And in his gaze,
Eternity.

I called myself a believer before I met
Shaykh Nazim
and by a miracle
I was kept on the path, pretending
until I felt his holy face
upon my trembling heart
and now for me nothing exists of truth
but what is coming from him

Religion is at best an imitation
at worse a business scam
esoterism is wolves play
a place for children and rogues to waste their days away
Theology is machinery of the mind
historians want a story
they can suck through their innards
and out their behinds again
but
faith and being
is found only through the holy ones
and is a gift
not something repeatable
and learned only through one beautiful
ocean
called friendship
founded on the shores of trust

if you want to find the answers
to the questions in your heart
know that everyone who made it
had to walk just like you
and to fight the tiger fight between the crosshairs
of a gun
to see in your heart
if it was truth or falsehood who won

So another idol broken today
As they pull you back once more from the brink
"There but for the Grace of God go I…"


Doubt is for believers and miracles as well

Hard hearted ones never doubt in their denial
Never even believe after being shown.

Doubt is the poison spat by Shaytan
Turned to medicine by the One
into the miracle we call belief

Oh Allah
Everything belongs to You,
We own nothing and to You we are returning
It is You who make us believe or not
Make us believers
Show us truth as truth and falsehood as falsehood
We know what we’ve tasted in our hearts and our souls
We’ve seen the difference between right and wrong
We know Islam only gives more light and only betters humanities state
Keep us as Muslims
Keep us

Believers are the spice that gives the world taste
Sayyids are the spice that gives Believers their taste
The grandchildren of the Prophet,
the dervish Arabs of the trust, carry Islam in their very blood and beings
It is in their rhythm, their pain, their love, their sweat
That you will find the grace you are looking for.
Rasulallah asked us to look out for them,
May our love for him be true
Words of wisdom:
Fear your Lord!
Stand firm for good ones against devils!
Think on it!
Take your care!
Beware of Shaytan!
This Dunya is a carcass those who seek to devour it our dogs!

Declaration

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
My language is the language of revelation
My country is the country of servitude
My homeland is in the hereafter
My tribe is the tribe of Muhammad
My family is the family of Shaykh Nazim
Our path is the path of safety
I am a child of Islam
My race is the race of believers
My people are the people of the qiblah
The people of the promise
The people of the final revelation
Our Goal is Allah
We are strangers here on Earth
We are a soul which happens to be in a body
Not a body with a soul
I will defend the honor of the good ones
I am sayfudeen,
A child of Islam and orphan to the world
I pray that everyone of my descendents
Are followers and lovers
Of our master Muhammad
And believers in Allah and eternity
May all Celtic people accept this message
And come to peace here and hereafter.

There is a space beyond the three religions
beyond our childlike selfishness of
"My Truth" "My Love" "My Experience"
but you can only enter that space through those doors.

I want to go there with you

Its a place of no formality, no fear, no imagination
no shortcuts, no pain

its path is found through the darkness of 4:00 am
when confusion and doubt has pushed the person back to the fuel fire he calls pure belief: Oh my Lord guide me, if you don't guide me I am lost

so many things to follow or believe in, the charisma of ten thousand shadows
and yet only one shining sun.

God does not guide those who do wrong

Oh my Lord correct my ways

I have only my sincerity and my yearning for certainty

I want your intimacy not an imitation
protect us from those false alternatives that swirl around us like black magic and incense

The sun rises and the numbness of worldly concerns takes over for a moment
for those of us that would like to follow a path
we would do well to remember that before The kaba there was Ibrahim's hands and his faith, before Islam there was Muhammad in his silent retreat,
we are Jewish because Moses was called to the sacred valley of Tuwa,
and Christian because there was such a man on earth called Christ
Religion is not a club to join, a set of rules to follow, and system, or house to enter- there are believers, and such a thing as being lost, and such a thing as truth.

There is a Garden in my Heart

There is a garden in my heart,
a place where placelessness resides,
where the Sower of the seeds
plants His wondrous mysteries.

I'm asking to return there from
the world of multiplicity, to
the shores of His Unity.

Physicality is nothing,
the spirit, the hidden king.

Oh Maker of the mysteries and miracles of life
do not leave me to myself for even a blink of an eye
but keep me always in Your mercy
and the gardens of Your love for
verily Your beloved one said:
Angels roam the earth to find on it
groves from Paradise- and what are these groves
but the circles of His Blessed Remembrance
where humble souls chant his Light
In beautiful harmony
and find themselves, against all odds,
amidst the din of a deafening world:
the greatest miracle of all.

May we find these hidden gardens in our hearts
and in the homes of those
He's chosen to guide us back to Him
and never leave them for a moment
for that is the greatest sin,
not missed prayers, nor the lying,
nor the cheating, but the running
from Him still and the
stuffing of a million idols in the
house that is only for One.
May He, Exalted and High above all else
forgive us and accept our counterfeit ways and admit us to
His gardens- the very best end for all.

Losing Ourselves

This love is more than we can bare
This La ilaha ill Allah is more than we can take
Its reality makes nonsense of ourselves
Makes clear there is an Existant beyond
Mere hearing, seeing, touching, feeling
Something glowing always there
we sleep, we eat, we laugh, we drink
Sometimes hot, sometimes cold
Sometimes full, sometimes not.
And yet it still remains
we believe too much
In this material world.
we are in a deep deep sleep
Sometimes though sitting in the garden's shade
Hiccups bring us back
But our frames cannot contain
The excitement of revisiting
We shake we cry and
We call to you Yah Rabb!
We call to you and say
We are poor
Yah Rabb
We are in need of you
And You are Rich
Save us from the darkness of dissatisfaction
Of fufillment that never comes.
Protect us and may
We utter your Divine Names
Forever and ever
Amin.

Dua

We are asking

For this light
Our Lord we thank you
And we are asking
For Muhammad
Lord we thank you
And we are saying:
Have no fear for those whose
Hearts have golden linings
Mustapha has come to bring us
Into the garden
Peace and Blessings be upon him
We thank you
And we are asking
For his secret
For his smile
We are asking
For his prayers
We are asking
For his speech
we are asking
We are asking our Lord
To be dust under his feet
Ya Rabb
To be your abd
Ya Rabb
We are asking
For this light
The Best of Creation
Peace and Blessings be upon him
We are asking to be part of his ummah
We are proud of this ya Rabb
And humble to You
You have blessed us
More than any before
We are asking to be worthy
And thankful
Revelation is complete...
The full moon has risen...
May we have the strength
To stay steadfast
In love our Lord
And we are asking...